when i give u another chance..

means u must use it carefully. dont mess it and dont try to trigger the switch.. u know how much i hate and love u at the same time.. 

when i said i forgive u...

means... a bundle of lavish gift, extra attention and luxurious holiday... so it will be equally fair and square. if not u might want to be in the never ending war... :)

Mix feeling

I dunno how to describe but i just want to walk away from this life. I cannot trust anymore so it will be no use at all. What is love without the trust? I will just follow the flow where the steps will lead me to. 

drowning...

 So many things that i would achieve in life. But i always belief The Almighty had a better plan for me. Maybe if i proceed with the other way, i would not have what i have today. I might be working somewhere in middle east but i may not have a savings like what i already had today. Tell me about the temptations and all the luxury goods temptation. Like what i always told myself "its a sin if im not buying it" lol! i dont know if that phrase even really exist in real life situation.

This will be a good year to generate more income to those working abroad as the myr currency is really low and if u change the money u will get more. I try my best not to fall into any of the temptations because i know all of that always can wait. I wanted to lead a very simple life. read:not stuck with any financial loan, have ample savings for rainy days and can do and can eat what i want  in life.I dont want to be like certain people , flashing their branded goods at all times but in reality no savings no nothing but debt. its not that i never have any indeed im a big fan of louis vuitton, dior and burberry but i spend wisely. I always bought those from outlets shopping spree whereby the markdown of the price is alottt! except for lv hahahah i need to save some money for it. i cannot digest when people want to borrow others money just because they want to fullfill what they want in life. come on. hey! if others can save the money and spend wisely why cant you. people already gave you all the priviledges.U cannot depends on people's courtesy at all times. what i noticed  this kind of people always talk bad about others when people never fulfilled what they want. ey hello!!? thats their money not yours and they are also burden with their financial problem. i once asked this lady, "if u re in their shoes can you do the same? " dangggggg she cant answer me and her facial expression changed. well, you should place yourselves in other's condition then u will be able to understand people.yes that person might be filthy rich to your eyes but they might want to save the money or they might have a lot of commitments. the money is mean for themselves its not for u. 

Anyway, there s alot of things going on in my life that i cannot spill it here. im literrally stucked here forever. i always become the punching bag, a saviour when other's in need and tossed me in the bin when they re not in need. Morale of the story, dont sacrifice so much to others , they will not appreaciate it but they will talk bad about you instead. especially families. 

the fallen

i just cant trust anyone anymore.one by one betray my trust. 

I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break
The way you did, you fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

Xxxxxxxx

i just cant trust anymore.

projek membuat buttermilk bun

aku kalau balik kampung mesti membeli bun buttermilk ni. tersangatlah famous di kuching benda ni sbb chinese pun secret recipe. so aku pun google la recipe so marilah kita membuat di cuti chinese new year ni.. 

ni mcm normal bun la dough dia ni cuma ada water roux mixture yg kengkonon akan bagi dia rs fluffy.. biarkan for 30-45 mins kasi dia proif pastu baru bole letak inti.

ni inti buttermilk dia oh tak sabarnya nak buat and bakar. pakcik don suka bebenor dgn roti and pastries. 

ni bila dah susun dalam tray.. nervous on aku punya first try ni

tgh bakar dalam oven toster huhu pandai sangat terus mengeras macam scones

dah menguning sedikit

inti mcm sedikit kurang manis and terlebih tepung.. pastu kulit keras ibarat scones.. hmm percubaan pertama katako.. almost jadi lah cuma mmg nak kene pakai oven betul2 boleh la nanti dah tauk apa nak buat rupa mmg dh ada tapi kelembutan fluffy nya tu nan hado.. huwaaa takpe theres a room for improvement gitu.. baiklah sampai jumpa lagi hokeh

Jealousy

Tajuk kita hari ini.. Kekadang aku tak paham kenapa org nak jeles tak tentu pasal dengan something yg dia tak tahu. Aku bagi contoh rozita che wan. Dia tak mintak duit org. Apa dia nak buat dia punya suka kot. Aku takdenye nak comment apa2 pun kalau org post apa2 sbb aku enjoy watching org punya life sbb kalau kita kat tempat dia kita pun maybe akan biat benda yg sama kot. Contoh nya kalau kita ada duit ke apa ke. Who doesnt? Tapi yg aku tak paham org yg tak kenal tak ape suddenly bash kaw2. Motif??? Dan aku boleh conclude kan org2 macam ni mempunyai sifat hasad dengki yg tinggi dan inferiority complex. Dia takde dan itu merupakan sesuatu yg dia nak dalam hidup tapi tak dapat. Dan sebagai akibat bila orang ada dia kutuk kaw2. So pathetic. Hello, daripada kita mengutuk apa kata kita memperbaiki hidup kita. so that at least setaraf. Bagi aku lah kan aku akan berusaha bersungguh2 jd aku akan dpt achieve my life goals. Aku ada fre friends yg macam tu. Aku jenis yg akan push diri aku to the highest limit. Macam ada sesetengah kawan aku terlalu berada di zon selesa so lantak kome lah disitu. Life korang bukan life aku. tapi bila part aku ada suara sumbang konon bagi nasihat oh kerja tu jgn sampai mengabaikan suami. hello? ko duduk dgn aku ke ko tau suami aku terabai?aku selamber je jawab " Hahahaha.. xde makna nya terabai layanan first class lagi uolss " haa gitu jawab dia. Kita harus handle benda ni dgn hati yg tenang n positive jawab pun sempoi gitu je so dia pnya target kengkonon nak sakit kan hati kita tak terlaksana. Org macam ni mmg nak kene buat macam tu. tunjukkan yg kita tak terkesan dgn statement diorang sbb kalau kita melayan lagi dorang akan bersorak gembira dan menjadikan kita sama je level dgn diorang. ada lagi, di dektu mmg suka pinjam duit org n lambat2 bayar fine. pastu dulu penah pakai tudung pastu bukak balik fine. tapi aku tak penah nak straight kat muka kau cakap kenapa kau haramjadah sangat mcm tu. sbb aku pun tau aku tak pakai tudung lagi. and aku tak judgemental pun not even a little. berkata2 dalam hati tu mungkin ada sbb ye kita manusia tapi tak sampai niat nak sound tepek ibarat memalukan dia. kalau nak dh lama aku buat. aku tak penah cakap apa pun but yeah dalam social media aku share 30% apa yg berlaku dalam hidup aku. read: only 30 % OK!! Pun dh boleh cakap aku ni riak lah apa lah but still aku handle situation tu calm. setakat pegi vacation domestic je diknon tapi cara gambar tu diambik mungkin nampak mcm obersee kot gamak nya. terus statement jealousy. Homaiiii manusia manusia. dalam ig aku banyak kawan2 aku yg lain post gambau obersee bagai. aku ok je n aku tanamlan cita2 one day aku mesti sampai jugak kat situ. dia tak tahu aku slalu bercuti sbb ticket free dari taun2 lepas company aku bagi aku bayar bawah 100 rm je. hotel kite duduk budget hotel. certain destination aku masak. kita commute naik train naik bus apa ke ko nak sound jealous mcm tu.Just because ko tak dpt nak pegi selalu jgn let yr anger to urself yg tak dpt pegi kat orang lain. Sebab tu Tuhan tak bagi kai rezeki tu. Sbb hati tu busuk.Last2 org macam ni harus di block je.Takyah kasi dia nampak apa2. So funny. Now aku memahami perasaan Rozita Che wan. gittuuuu

courtesy dari instagram yg aku cari hashtag #jealousy